The Scourge of Individualism!

With a particular situation in mind, I asked a friend the other day what he felt would drive a man to mistreat his wife after many years of marriage. His immediate answer was, “Individualism. It’s all about me!”

This I guess would be the same motivation for someone to push in at the grocery check-out or drive alongside your car in the closed lane and push in. The ten seconds saved is more important to them over others who are also in a hurry trying to get to work or to an appointment.

Are we so influenced by a self-centered society that we too jump on the “ME” bandwagon?  It is easy to do. But what about marriage or other relationships; are they affected by outside influences? Maybe, although it might be, as my friend suggested, just a matter of putting self and our selfish desires first.

The road of individualism and self-centeredness in marriage is fraught with danger. It can make for a miserable existence. It can bring isolation and disconnect, even within the marriage. It creates suspicion. It damages and deteriorates the relationship. The immediate goal or desire may be achieved but at what cost?

Before we push our own agenda we need to ask ourselves; am I helping or hindering our relationship? What will be the ultimate result of my action?  I am not a child but am I acting like a child? Is life really all about me?

How often do we need to be reminded just how much we need each other? At some point in the past we made a commitment and it wasn’t “until I don’t get my own way!” It was for better or worse.  We are a team. We are made to be together. It provides the love and support we all need to face the issues and challenges of each day.

Be strong. Don’t be influenced by the selfish attitude of our society. Acting out of selfless and unconditional love will bring its own lasting reward.

Oh yes, and by the way, talking about the check-out. Have you ever tried insisting someone else goes before you in the line?  Try it. You might be pleasantly surprised at the response.  You might make someone’s day and you won’t feel bad yourself!